Not want you think you want, but what you really DESIRE.
When my children were young we took them to the Derby Dinner Playhouse for their children's theater. Before each performance, at the appropriate time, a polite female voice over the intercom would announce: "The production will begin in just FIIIIVE minutes." Often since, joking around, I have imitated the way she said those last four words. When my kids asked: are we there yet? ...... In Just FIIIVE Minutes! When we were standing in long lines at Disney World: How much longer til we get to ride? In Just FIIIVE Minutes!
I have found in my life that many things are easier to manage in five minute chunks. Things I'm not necessarily thrilled with doing I can make myself do if its only going to be for 5 minutes. Napoleon Bonaparte is attributed with saying: "the victory goes to the one who understands the value of FIVE MINUTES." (Emphasis mine) Five minute chunks make up hours and days and will give us everything we want when used correctly.
What do we really want? Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that
all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
After we have life and liberty we want HAPPINESS!
Tolstoy wrote "All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
Happy families follow the rules of happiness. Unhappy families break different rules in different ways. It is the same with individuals.
Relationships are where it's at. Our relationships with our significant others, with God, and with ourselves. We want social, physical, spiritual health. Not merely adequately. But functioning at 100%.
We want ALL OF OUR NEEDS TO BE MET. Physical needs such as air, food, and shelter are first. Then comes other needs such as to be appreciated, to create, to belong. If we are unaware of a need we will simply feel that something is missing or not right.
We all do everything we do to try to get our needs met. EVERYONE. EVERYTHING. Looked at in that context, it's easier to be forgiving and understanding. Yes, there is right and wrong. There are appropriate and inappropriate ways to get our needs met. And there are people that have been screwed up. But, just about EVERYONE(including you) that we care at all about is doing what they do in an attempt to meet a need that they perceive consciously or unconsciously. I like to break things down to as simple as I can. Makes things easier to understand, remember and share!
Along those lines I have made a few lists. They help until the actions are internalized and become second nature. They also serve to act as a standard to refer to occasionally. If we climb the ladder of life and then at the end find out it was placed against the wrong wall......PROBLEM. Also, "Goals are stars to steer by, not sticks to beat yourself with." Dallin H. Oaks. That's where In Just Fiiiive Minutes comes in. We want to have IT ALL. Happiness and all of our needs being met. This does require some effort. It requires us to make some........ Changes! Gasp. But if all it takes is Just Fiiiive Minutes and the benefits are HUGE! OK. I can do that.
Some will say, I want a billion dollars. No, they don't. They want what a billion will buy. Virgil Strang, esteemed professor of philosophy at Palmer College of Chiropractic, taught that "we don't want the fancy cars and homes. We want the feelings we think we will have when we have them". We want the relationships we think will come with them. Don't get me wrong, money is important. But we don't NEED a million bucks. We need to get ALL of our needs met, then.......BAM. HAPPINESS.
We are not born knowing what we need. Most people are not getting ALL of their physical needs met!! Half of all Americans are dehydrated! So, where do we begin, what are our needs? Here is the pyramid that you have probably seen before. Let's start at the bottom and build our way up.
Maslow's Hierachy of Needs
Next week's blog will review the bottom layer, aka: HEALTH!
Other connections with this topic:
TV Show: Greatest American Hero: super hero suit with no handbook of instructions
Book you should read: Think & Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill: think about hard, ponder, figure out with your brain your needs and what you want and how you want to get it all legally, ethically, and morally.